Melbourne community station Channel 31 has announced it will bid against Nine and the Seven/Ten consortium to secure broadcast rights to the 2007-11 AFL seasons.
Channel 31, home of such favourites as Horse Rush, Romanian Mozaic, and Nurse TV, is confident it can be competitive in the bidding war, despite not actually having any money to offer.
"It's all about heart," spokesman Mike Broom told Sterne. "Our passion for cheap, niche-market TV is obvious, and will stand us in good stead. And, once our second camera is repaired, we will have the technology to put together a really professional package."
Mr Broom said he was confident of success, despite critics drawing attention to the station's limited broadcasting range.
"Look, if you wiggle your aerial around a bit, maybe invest in some kind of industrial strength antenna, there's no reason why you can't get almost watchable reception in several Melbourne suburbs."
A spokesman for Nine told Sterne that his network wasn't particularly concerned by Channel 31's entry into the fray.
"We will crush them like grapes," he said, before foaming at the mouth. "Then...then we will crush all of you!"