Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Poor Man Not Missing Out On Bullshit Cultural Ephemera

Poverty-stricken Melbourne man Donny Paul is happy to report that despite not having enough money for food and accommodation, he still manages to keep up with all the latest middle-class fads.

"Take blogging," he told Sterne. "You might think my lack of a computer would prevent me from participating in the digital publishing revolution, but you'd be wrong. I've been blogging for ages."

Mr Paul's method of "offline blogging" sees him regale strangers in the street with narcissistic anecdotes about his day-to-day life, top ten lists, and sarcastic pop-culture commentary.

"I get several hits a day," Mr Paul said. "Often on the nose."

Mr Paul, who spends most nights shivering in doorways, also enjoys listening to the iPod he has constructed for himself from discarded Discmans. He has even come up with a way to replicate the latest model from Apple, the iPod Shuffle.

"I just close my eyes when I'm shoplifting CDs from HMV."

Mr Paul told Sterne that, if he lives through the winter, he would like to join the automobile set with his own 4WD.

"I'm working on building a Land Cruiser out of a shopping trolley and some discarded asbestos roofing," he said. "Just 'cause I'm forced to dress in rags and eat refuse out of bins doesn't mean I can't have it all."

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