Monday, April 18, 2005

Indie Rock Snob Suicides After Unwittingly Enjoying Bloc Party Album

Melbourne rock snob Daniel Snide killed himself in the early hours of Sunday morning, having unwittingly enjoyed Bloc Party's Silent Alarm album at a party the night before.

Cameron Rollins, who attended the party with Snide, told Sterne that Snide had been tapping his fingers along to the CD for about twenty minutes when he asked who the band was.

"When I told him, he turned white. I thought he was going to be sick," Rollins said. "I knew Daniel was deliberately avoiding the Bloc Party album - he kept saying that kind of 'corporate shit' was beneath him, and he'd rather listen to 'real music' - but I didn't know he'd do himself in if he found he enjoyed it."

In the past few years, Snide has waged aggressive campaigns against a number of popular bands, including the Strokes, Franz Ferdinand and Interpol. Snide summed up his feelings in a September 2004 post to his Audiowhore blog, claiming that "modern rock music is little more than Starbucks for the ears of the braindead, mass-produced pap performed by plagiarising posuers with rock's blood on their hands," before going on to invoke the "legacy" of such indie luminaries as the Velvet Underground, Gang of Four, and Mission of Burma.

Snide's suicide note provides a disturbing insight into his emotional state.

"How can I face the world knowing I have made an intuitive judgment about a band based on my emotional response to their music rather than on a set of arbitrary, elitist criteria?" he wrote. "My entire personality is predicated on my unerring conviction that my own conception of rock credibility is universally true. How can I go on, having revealed myself for the snob that I am? Frankly, I don't even like music. The whole 'obsession' thing is just a cover for my innately superior attitude towards the world. It is time to go. See you soon, Ian [Curtis, late Joy Division singer with whom Snide professed an emotional, spiritual and artistic kinship]."

Snide will be buried next week in his favourite Iggy Pop & the Stooges t-shirt. In accordance with his final wishes, no Jet fans will be admitted.

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