Monday, April 25, 2005

We're All Disgusting On The Inside

by Mr C.A. Jones, educator

Today, children, I want to talk about difference. As I look at your smiling faces - Billy, don't rub that thing on Kathryn, thank you - I see that some of you have blue eyes, some of you have brown eyes, and some of you have green eyes. Yes, Jessica, we're all aware that Caitlyn has no eyes - that is precisely my point. Eye colour - or indeed how many eyes we actually have - is one of the many ways we may differ from other people.

Another is by our skin colour. Most of you have pale skin, but there are some exceptions. Billy, as you may have noticed, is a little black fellow. Agnes, on the other hand, is Chinese. Sorry - Vietnamese. Asians all look so similar to me! But it really doesn't matter, because Billy and Agnes are human beings, just like the rest of us, only with funny-coloured skin or squinting eyes. Billy and Agnes can't change the way they are, and neither should they wish to - we love them and respect them as much as we would if they were normal like us.

There are many other ways people can be different. Some people are tall, some short. Some people are fat, some thin. Some people are rich, some poor. Some people are happy, some live an existence permeated with loathing and dread, balanced above the precipice of self-destruction, only moments, perhaps, from toppling over the edge, thus ending the pain forever... Yes... Forever...

Yet, for all our differences, we are essentially the same inside. Inside, everybody is as disgusting as everybody else. Why right now, inside all of you, and inside of me, unimaginably repugnant processes are underway. Our breakfast is being digested, the waste product becoming poo-poo, or "faeces", as we adults call it. Blood is pumping, layers of fat are forming, the revolting grey paste of our brains is doing its thing. Perhaps the first stages of what will ultimately bring us to our miserable death are beginning - cancer cells developing, aortas clogging with gunk, brain tumours swelling. Yes, inside, we are all disgusting, we all have icky pulsing organs, kilometres of revolting intestine, goo-dispensing glands, and all the other horrible bits and pieces God saw fit to stock us with.

So, children, the lesson is that despite our superficial differences, we are really all the same. Now, if Billy and Agnes would like to excuse themselves and head over to their Special Table, the rest of the class can get on with learning the words to the National Anthem...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

this blog has gone way downhill...

Tim said...

Go and read something else then. Or just go fuck yourself.

jon said...

May I please fuck myself AND continue to read this blog?

Tim said...

Let's all of us fuck ourselves!

(But especially the mysterious Anonymous)

Eddie McGuires toenail clippings said...

Im fucking myself whilst reading this blog! Top that fuckers!!