Thursday, May 26, 2005

Are You The Next Washed Up Member Of A Formerly Popular Band?

Following the announcement that INXS will use a new reality show to find a replacement for the late Michael Hutchence, it has been revealed that a second reality show will seek to replace the rest of the band as well.

"Michael's brooding, faux-Jim Morrison schtick was really all we had going for us," INXS saxophonist Kirk Pengilly told Sterne over coffee in his run-down shack on Sydney's North Shore. "We've tried to keep up the charade that we're still a vital, creative unit, but frankly it's getting a little old. However, that doesn't mean we don't want to keep making money out of it."

Pengilly, who recently featured in the documentary film The 1980s: The Decade That Destroyed The Saxaphone As A Means Of Artistic Expression, says that the new show will be a combination of Big Brother-style reality and American Idol talent quest.

"The idea is to set up franchises - an American INXS, an Australian INXS, a Japanese INXS. Let somebody else play our unique brand of dull, pub-cum-stadium rock for a change. And let's face it, we're a pretty colourless, personality-free bunch, so replacing us isn't going to be too hard.

"What is really important is to re-establish INXS as a brand, just getting the name out there. We've already had in excess of twenty people audition, and I'd say the average level of talent is in excess of our expectations. How's your coffee? Is its temperature in excess of your tolerance?"

Pengilly, who vehemently denies once being married to Deni Hines, said the rest of the band were one hundred percent behind the project.

"Since Michael's death, we've all despaired on occasion. I mean, if we couldn't make a go of it with Jon Stevens or Terence Trent D'Arby, what hope is there? But I believe that by selling our last vestiges of credibility and joining the desperate world of has-been reality TV we are sowing the seeds of our future success while truly honouring Michael's legacy."


Rex said...

What these guys need to try is coloured skivvies. I hear they work a treat.

Tony.T said...

I thought it was faux Mick Jagger, but there you are.