As an elitist wanker, I don't actually watch Big Brother. In fact, I once punched somebody in the face who said those two words in sentence. And she - it was my grandmother - wasn't even talking about the TV show. Anyway, all prejudice aside, Big Brother is nothing more than a sick piece of quasi-pornographic humiliation television, and I spit on each and every one of you who watches it.
Having said this, it may come as a surprise that I'm quite fond of Blogging Big Brother. The reason is quite simple: I'm in it. Ms Cynic has thrown me into the "house" with a bunch of other bloggers and is asking you - yes you, the Australian public - to vote us out. At the time of writing I am yet to receive a single vote. This could be because my blog is the least popular of the twelve, but I like to think it's because people are so scared of my rapier wit that they dare not cast their vote for me. Or it could be just to keep me around in order to ensure future humiliation.
If you feel inclined to do so, head on over and vote. But not for me.
UPDATE: Only hours in, and Lefty is already "playing the game", moaning about how he never got picked for anything at school so that people will feel sorry for him. While I sympathise, it's nothing compared to my own case. I never even got to go to school, instead spending my childhood working first in a blacking factory and later as an attendant on the Vomitron, the throw-upingest ride at Luna Park. Because of this, I never had any friends, and still struggle socially, and - I'm not ashamed to admit I have tears in my eyes as I type this - being in the Blogging Big Brother house is the first time I've ever felt part of something, you know? And do you know what happens to people who deliberately ostracise outcasts like myself? If you don't, watch Carrie sometime - you'll get the picture.