Sunday, May 29, 2005

Free Schappelle!

A syrupy protest song to the tune of Michael Jackson's "Heal the World"

There's a place in the north
We all know it's name well
Used to be a paradise
But now it's more like hell
The police and judiciary are corrupt
They'll throw you in a cell
Especially if you're an attractive beauty therapist
Like our poor Schappelle

There are ways to help her
If you care enough for the good-looking
Make a little space
For such a pretty face!

[chest-pumping chorus]

Free Schappelle!
Get her outta that place
Far away from Bali
And the entire Indo race
She's a foxy white girl
Falsely convicted and jailed
Let's bring her home
Schappe-elle Corby

There are things you can do
To support Schappelle's appeal
Ask Red Cross for your donation back
Take away some poor Indo's meal
Ring up a radio station
And say "Hey, what's the deal?"
And generalise using racial epithets
About "those monkey people who can't feel"

Sometimes it feels that self-rightous fury's
The only way to get things done
And make a little space
For such a pretty face!

Free Schappelle!
Get her outta that place
Far away from Bali
And the entire Indo race
She's a foxy white girl
Falsely convicted and jailed
Let's bring her home
Schappe-elle Corby

[embarrassing hip-hop interlude]

Yo Australia
Let's make some noise
Wanna hear some racket
From you girls and boys
Sure we're hypocritical
When we say
No to Corby's verdict
While Hicks rots in G Bay
Protesting and complaining
About lost innocence
When we vote for locking reffoes
Behind a barbed wire fence
But never mind consistency
Never mind you might be wrong
Just get up on your soap-box
And let the media string you along

[seemless segue back to emotion-charged chorus featuring a massed choir of b-grade singers and minor celebrities]

Free Schappelle!
Get her outta that place
Far away from Bali
And the entire Indo race
She's a foxy young white girl
Falsely convicted and jailed
Let's bring her home
Schappe-elle Corby

UPDATE: Nic White has an excellent round-up of the media/public response to the Corby verdict. You can't sing it, but it makes for amusing/terrifying reading. Nic also received hate mail as a result of an earlier post on the subject. Some people have all the luck!

9 comments:

Rex said...

The really interesting question Tim is how long before the ballyhoo dies down?

When our media sleazebags don't get the ratings anymore and they drop her like a hot potato. What then? This will all just be forgotten.

Tim said...

Good point. The appeals process could take six-twelve months from what I've heard. And with Corby herself tucked away from the cameras in jail, the story is bound to lose a good deal of its momentum. Nevertheless, I think it'll go on for a while longer, fanned by the media and a perverse delight many people seem to take in being outraged and/or racist fools, although I hope I'm wrong. Frankly, I'm disgusted at the level to which the media, and a large portion of the Australian population, have sunk.

Recreativo Narcótico said...

indonesian people-smugglers enjoy spending time in aussie prisons (good health care and regular meals). Maybe corby would enjoy the "exchange-programme" stint.

Tim said...

I'm no lawyer (no, really) but I don't see how they're going to "bring her home" without some very fancy diplomatic and legal footwork. The call to have Corby serve her term in Australia is based on nothing more than that Indonesian jails are more unpleasant than our jails. Are the Indonesians seriously expected to send her back here because of Australia's concerns for her comfort?

MrLefty said...

Thanks, Tim. You're a cruel man!

Recreativo Narcótico said...

nah the indons will never send her back

thou for many south-indon islanders, prison term in australia is a good way to earn money, get good healthcare and learn new skills to make them more marketable on the labour mkt. corby shld enjoy her stay in indon and pick up sumfin new.

Jo said...

LOVE the song.

Still laughing at embarassing hip hop interlude.

Anonymous said...

im only 15 and i really feel strongly about the corby case... i found myself also very interested in the lindy chamberlain case and thought to myself how would i feel in this instance? what if this was my relative? or is she really innocent? i strongly believe she is innocent a feel for her very deeply.... from the bottom of my heart i wish her all the luck of the world and am constantly praying for the indonesians to wake up to themsleves and see SCHAPPELLE CORBY is innocent and deserves the freedom we all have. Thankyou

Marlon Sulik said...

It''s quite impressive.