Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Ask Andrew Bolt

Advice and admonishment from the famed Herald Sun journalist, Andrew Bolt.

Dear Andrew,

I have recently started spending the night at my girlfriend's house. Everything is fine, except that she uses a different spoon every time she makes coffee. By the time she has had a couple of breakfast coffees, there are no clean teaspoons left and I am forced to use one of those little cakeforks instead, which is hardly satisfactory as most of the coffee disappears between the tines before I get it to my mug. I love my girlfriend very much, but this spoon business is getting out of hand.


Andrew says: Kevin, your pitiful whining is typical of the modern male, brow-beaten and knob-seared by new age mother cults, demoted to second class citizens by authoritarian irrationalists with oestrogen where their brain matter ought to be. It is not your girlfriend's fault - she is merely following the precepts laid down by an elite so besotted with feminist dogma that the mere mention of a penis has them scrambling for a rubber band and a pair of scissors. Furthermore, who are you to say how many spoons she may use? She is an individual, and the spoons are her property. Yours is the sheep-like collective mentality, the kind of "this spoon is your spoon, this spoon is my spoon" mentality that led to millions of deaths in the Soviet Union. Be a man, Kevin. Buy your own damn spoons.

Dear Andrew,

I am the mother of two boys, aged four and six. My husband and I are concerned about the pernicious effect of popular culture, particularly television and so-called "pop" music, on a child's development. However, we are inexperienced with such matters, being blind and deaf (disabilities thankfully not shared by our children). Do you have any advice for us about what, if anything, is appropriate material for young people?


Andrew says: I am asked this a lot, Angela, but I never tire of answering, for I believe the children are our future, unlike so many on the left who can't help but salivate like so many rabid dogs at the thought of corrupting the natural purity and innocence of the young.

The simple fact is that since 1968, popular culture as entertainment, as culture, has been dormant, perhaps dead. What we have thrust upon us today is the pornographic conclusion to forty years of cultural debasement by an elite which views morality with disdain. The moral marrow has been sucked from our culture and replaced by a rich seem of depravity and squalor. Turn on your radio and you will hear nothing but "rap" music, tone-deaf black men mumbling about "bitches", "hoes", and "motherf**ckers". Satanic worship is common at many nightclubs and music venues, "artists" flouting civilised society's conventions with abandon. My advice is to avoid music altogether if you can.

As for television. above all avoid the ABC, whose touchy-feely left-wing agenda is as blatant in its children's programmes as in its news and current affairs. It is not uncommon to see an Aboriginal woman co-hosting Playschool with a white man, as if this twisted worldview represents reality in any way. I mean, Aboriginals do not represent 50% of Australia's population, so why on earth does Playschool persist in implying that they do? The show has also featured a lesbian family attempting to pass itself off as "normal" - once again, the "morality" of the elite is shoved down the throat of the civilised majority. I don't want lesbians shoved down my throat, Angela, and I am sure you share this sentiment, as you did mention you have a husband. Also, Playschool and many other ABC children's programmes carry subversive messages about "sharing" and "caring for others", which is the kind of mentality that led to millions of deaths in the Soviet Union. So it might be best to keep your boys away from television, too.


MrLefty said...

I like the idea, but I think you can develop it further.

Brought to you by Mr Lefty's New Patronising Service - "You post, we patronise!"

Rex said...