Friday, August 05, 2005

Tute On!

Ring ring!

Hello? Yes, this is he. Do I want to tutor a Year 12 student in history? Specifically the French and Russian revolutions? What's the pay like? Really? That's pretty good. You know, it was some time ago that I signed up with your agency. Almost two years, in fact. Oh, I see, they closed down and sold their database to you. Well, that sounds dodgy, but a job's a job. Count me in.

Do I know anything about the French and Russian revolutions? Er, yes. They were in France and Russia, right? Haha, only joking. We're talking 1789 and 1917 here, aren't we, not 1830 and 1905 or something? Ok, good. I can do 1789 and 1917, but anything else I'm fucking hopeless on. Haha, just kidding. Nah, I'm all over it. Like a freakin' rash!

So what's the deal with this kid? Smart? Good looking? 'Cause I don't want to have to spend my time tutoring a fugly thicko. Although if she is a thicko, then it will take me longer to set her on the path to academic success, which will mean more money for me. Hmm. What? No, sorry, just thinking out loud. Really I don't mind what she looks like or how smart she is. As long as she doesn't wear those stupid ugg boots, count me in.

Do I have any tutoring experience? Does explaining to foreign tourists how to get to Flinders St. count as tutoring? Haha, just kidding again! Look, I'm no expert, but I think I've got the skills to pay the bills. No. Yes, I realise I won't be required to pay any bills. That's just a rhyme we young people use. You can see how I'm already on the same mental level as a seventeen year-old. I should have no problems tutoring her, as long as she already knows what she's doing. Anyway, thank you for giving me this opportunity. I won't let you down. Much! Haha, only kidding. Vive la Revolution, eh? Oh, you've already hung up...


tortillagurl said...

Oh I love the days when I was a tutor. Of course, my kids were in jr. high and I just made sure they did their homework and understood it. I became so close with them...

Of course I'm not saying that the same will happen with you, but what if it did... tee hee

MrLefty said...

I'm almost embarrassed about for how long I was a tutor in subjects I knew nothing about.

mscynic said...

Don't suppose you could tutor me on how to solve the Chechen conflict?

My lecturers seem to think I'm freakin' Kofi Annan in here!

clonar22 said...

Your ideal student: rich parents, a fast learner but not too fast, pretty
but nothing you can't handle. We've
all been there. Now earn those bucks.