Modern political debate is preoccupied with, and as a result stifled by, the left/right division. This bifurcation drastically simplifies the complexities inherent in political systems, debate and ideology. It can also be frustrating on a personal level as, whatever one's actual beliefs, one tends to get lumped in with everybody else on that side of the divide. I for one am tired of being accused of Marxism by association, but until my "Aristocratic anarchist and proud" t-shirt arrives, this appears to be my lot.
Clearly we require labels better able to capture the diversity of the political spectrum. Existing terminology can be confusing - I mean, what exactly are anarcho-syndicalists, and do they give change for parking? Luckily, I have come up with a system that evokes the beliefs, textures, and even smells of most modern ideologies. I call it the Political Cheese Platter, and it looks something like this:
Tasmania Highland Chevre Log: Loggies, as analysts call them with not a little irony, are roughly analogous to "greenies". Bob Brown is a particularly good example of a loggie. Moist, lemony, and made of goat's milk, Brown works well in parliament (he is, as we say, a good "table cheese"), but can also rough it as an activist ("good for grilling").