Thursday, October 06, 2005

Man's Inhumanity To Man

Sometimes I don't know whether to weep or laugh. Celebrities giving their children horrible, horrible names is an old trope, and yet I'm always amazed when some over-paid, over-exposed jerk comes up with a moniker which speaks more clearly than cigarette burns of a latent desire to damage their sprog as deeply as possible. This one, I think, tops the lot. It is the acme of depressingly ridiculous appellations. Child-services should be called on national treasure Nick Cage, post-haste, for he has named his son...wait for it...

...Kal-el Coppola Cage.

One can only hope that there is a special school somewhere for the kids of Hollywood morons - somewhere that little Kal-el and Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily, Lourdes and Phoenix Chi can go and not be beaten to a bloody pulp for the sins of their mentally deficient parents.

8 comments:

Tim said...

So does this mean you won't talk to me if I go through with naming my kid Casper Van Vandercasper?

Jon said...

That's my mum's name, so no.

MrLefty said...

Yeah, Nick, way to give out your son's secret vulnerability.

(It's kryptonite, isn't it?)

Armagnac Esq. said...

....Apple?

Lucy Tartan said...

I quite like Moon Unit.

Tim said...

Me too. But the difference with the Zappa kids is that their names were entirely consistent with their parents' outlook. It wasn't some lame attempt to achieve tabloid notoriety - they simply didn't give a shit what anybody thought. And from all accounts the Zappa clan was about as loving as a family can get.

Lucy Tartan said...

I didn't know about any of that before. I really do think it's quite a nice name.
Rachel Griffiths called her kid Banjo.

Rigo Bear said...

George Foreman is my favourite. He named his kids George Junior, George III, George IV, George V, George VI, Georgetta and Freeda George. He also has three other girls, but they escaped the torture of having his name.