We have people living next door to us. They:
- are young people, given to sitting on a hammock by their front door, smoking cigarettes and scowling at passers-by.
- enjoy revving their clapped-out Ford at odd hours of the night.
- frequently swan around their front yard with their shirts off, so that if one innocently glances in the direction of their house, one is confronted by a brace of pallid, ladyboy chests.
- have numerous female visitors, none of whom join in the shirtless frolicking. I've checked.
- are constructing some kind of vegetable/marijuana garden in their backyard.
- have recently begun lighting bonfires in their backyard on sunny afternoons, presumably to burn off garden waste. I'm pretty sure this is illegal. It sure smells like it should be.
- refuse to acknowledge my existence, no matter how many curt nods I direct at them.
- fail to promptly bring in their bins - a sure sign of degeneracy.
- are hopefully not reading this post, or else I fear for the safety of my letterbox.