Monday, October 03, 2005

The People Next Door

We have people living next door to us. They:

- are young people, given to sitting on a hammock by their front door, smoking cigarettes and scowling at passers-by.

- enjoy revving their clapped-out Ford at odd hours of the night.

- frequently swan around their front yard with their shirts off, so that if one innocently glances in the direction of their house, one is confronted by a brace of pallid, ladyboy chests.

- have numerous female visitors, none of whom join in the shirtless frolicking. I've checked.

- are constructing some kind of vegetable/marijuana garden in their backyard.

- have recently begun lighting bonfires in their backyard on sunny afternoons, presumably to burn off garden waste. I'm pretty sure this is illegal. It sure smells like it should be.

- refuse to acknowledge my existence, no matter how many curt nods I direct at them.

- fail to promptly bring in their bins - a sure sign of degeneracy.

- are hopefully not reading this post, or else I fear for the safety of my letterbox.