Sunday, November 27, 2005

Leslie Converts to Ninjaism, Silences Critics - Forever!

In a surprise move, Australian model Michelle Leslie, who returned home last week after being convicted of drug possession by an Indonesian court, has converted to ninjaism.

"I know I've only been a Muslim for three months," Ms. Leslie said in a statement released today, referring to her conversion to Islam while awaiting trial in Denpasar, "but that was long enough to realise that it wasn't for me. Ninjaism feels like the right fit at this stage of my life - and don't tell me it isn't, or I'll cut you with this big freakin' sword!"

Some commentators have alleged that Leslie's Islamic faith was nothing more than a cynical attempt to curry favour with the Indonesian judiciary. This time around, the pundits appear to be rather more tolerant of Leslie's caprice.

Herald Sun columnist Andrew Bolt told Sterne that he has spoken to Leslie about her latest conversion, and he is satisfied that her motives are sincere.

"When I came home and found Michelle in my lounge room, in full ninja garb, throwing shirukens at the cat, I admit I was sceptical. It just seemed too convenient. But as the evening went on, and Michelle explained to me what she could do with the still-beating heart of a victim, I realised that I was speaking to a young woman of great probity. She also has excellent aim, as anybody who saw the photos of what she did to Derryn Hinch will attest."

Ninja Council of Australia president Akimoto Ibuki said that Leslie has widespread support amongst Australia's ninja population.

"It's great to see young people devoting themselves to ninjaism. It is a pathway to peace and enlightenment, and the ability to catch bullets with your teeth, which is pretty fuckin' cool, huh?"

Leslie declined Sterne's request for an interview, but did say that she not only has the ability to kill a man with her little finger, but she also knows where we live. So, good luck, Michelle. May Ninja be with you, always!


Ben said...

That's funny - I always pictured her as a Jedi.

Lisa said...

Thank you :) Too many posts about her... That's the only one I needed to read!

MrLefty said...

Well, there's no point converting to karate-ism, now that Mr Miyagi has passed on to the great car waxing service in the sky.