Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Bullitt

- When people start taking even your most obviously facetious posts seriously, it's hard not to wonder a) how gullible people can possibly be, and b) how one might abuse said gullibility to further one's interests. Coming soon: a series of posts on why giving Jon and I money for doing nothing is a great idea.

- Intersecting Lines is no more. Again.

- Beth has started contemplating this year's Booker. Although I vowed not to, and although it involves reading a lot of average books, and although the prize itself is pointless, etc, etc, I suspect I'm going to end up blogging the longlist again this year. Maybe I'll actually get through it this time.

- Currently reading Paul Theroux's Sir Vidia's Shadow, a memoir about the author's friendship with V.S. Naipaul. Fascinating stuff, but depressing as all hell. By the age of thirty, Theroux had spent five years teaching in a remote African university, another couple of years teaching in Singapore, before moving to England; he had published four novels; fantasised about shagging Lady Antonia Fraser; and developed a deep and abiding friendship with a world-famous author, Naipaul, whose own list of achievements is even more daunting. My inferiority complex grows with every chapter I read...

- UPDATE: Syd Barrett's dead! (Warning: linked article includes "Shine on you crazy diamond" headline.) When I was told "somebody from Pink Floyd died" I never imagined it would be Barrett - I thought he'd been dead for years.

22 comments:

mscynic said...

Have you read Theroux's Riding the Iron Rooster?

I'm about to embark on it and would appreciate a "heads up".

Tim said...

I haven't, but my partner is a Theroux devotee and reckons Iron Rooster is amongst his best travel books. I've read The Kingdom by the Sea and The Pillars of Hercules and enjoyed them both.

mscynic said...

I haven't read any Theroux but found this one in the Goodwill store for $4.

Thanks for the heads up. I'll read it safe in your (partner's) recommendation.

I do so hate wasting time on disappointments.

mscynic said...

P.S. Have you read the winning entry in this year's Bulwer-Lytton Award?

Tim said...

Yes, I saw it on your blog. I prefer the Wordy Harry entry, but they're both very funny.

mscynic said...

Don't mind me. I'm in a bit of a commenting mood today. Just clicked on your link.

"Sounds kind of weird. Tom Cruise as Dr. Phil now that part kind of made me laugh. Is there any chance that was supposed to be a joke?"

There's some unfathomable intellect out there on the net, ain't there.

Tim said...

We shouldn't be too hard on them. They are members of a Johnny Knoxville forum after all.

Burgher Russell de Hotham Esq. said...

Greetings Tim and Jon, we [signals wildly, hoping people are following] have travelled many moons and... well, we have travelled for a week... in search of fame, fortune and good lo...

No, we have fame fortune and good looks; we are looking for a better recipe for mulled wine and maybe other stuff we are still working on.

Perchance you could help us on our quest for something still to be determined, or recommend unto us someone who can from your vast circle of blogging acquaintances?



[PS last week I mostly succeeded in confusing people doing this. Read the linked page first.]

Jon said...

Oi! Get the hell off my lawn, De Hotham. Can't you read the sign? No Hawkers, Traders, Pilgrims, Knights Errant or Similar Chaucerian Cliches: We Don't Want Your Kind Here.

You and your mob are ruining the neigbourhood. Go on, sling yer 'ook.

Unless you've got some of that mulled wine. I'd prefer gin, of course, but...oh who the hell am I kidding? I'd drink stale ditchwater, suitably fermented. Hand it over and you're welcome. But keep your feet off the furniture and your fingers off the silverware.

Erica Starling of the East said...

Greetings, I must apologise for my delayed arrival, but I took a detour on the way to collect some of the local 'erbs to use in my next batch of mulled wine. I bring you some as a gift. May it loosen your tongues suitably, for I have come to collect gossip and scandal to turn into song. I am minstrel after all.

merkel the tautologically angry barbarian said...

Aaaaaargh! Slash, whack-thump! Hey everybody, try some grid bug! Fresh, yummy grid bug! Oh, yes, where were we...sorry I'm late, I drank some green potion.

As a barbarian, of course, I don't read books...and I'm not even sure my alter ego would read books about friends of V.S. Naipaul. A tad esoteric for mine. Nor is he familiar with the Syd Barrett material from Pink Floyd. But that can probably be remedied faster.

Oh, and could you please direct me towards the nearest Orc that needs slaughtering?

Enny said...

*arrives late*

*brandishes sword*

*shifty eyes*

*lingers in background*

Erica Starling of the East said...

Enny, I dub thee protector of me. You have fighting skills, and I think I could well use them along the way of this quest. Come and stand by the pitcher of wine with me, we shall drink together and survey the tightness of the man-tights. I shall attempt to make you a cruiser from ingredients pilfered from Sterne's cellar.

Tim said...

Very. Very. Confusing.

Jon said...

I know... This is easily the most bizarre meme ever - took me a while to work out whay was going on. And still I wonder whether the police, Human Services or the local psych ward should be made aware.

And Ms. Starling-of-the-east, I'll thank you to quit leering at my tights. I have to wear them for medical reasons. Also they are hell of comfortable.

Burgher Russell de Hotham Esq. said...

I was going to deny that I was either Chaucerian -- I was really hoping to be more Cervantian -- or a "mob". On reflection I seem to have attracted a rabble to best even Peter the Hermit.

Not really a meme though, more of a good natured troll. This sort of ride through the virtual landscape was common in the days of usenet, if not so elaborate, so I thought I'd revive it. Bloggers are a bunch of homebodies nowadays, hanging out at the same old places from day to day, and week to week, with just the rare foray onto some unsuspecting sod. I thought I'd expand my horizons a little. If slowly and close to home at first.

We shan't tarry long. Perhaps you could regale us with the tale of how you came to live here and blog, before we turn our minds to where we shall go next?

Madame Hooch of the Heath said...

I stumbled on the place a while ago, but as our hero, Burgher Russell de Hotham Esq., had not yet announced his presence, I maintained my silence, hiding behind a taxidermied seagull till I knew it was safe to announce myself.

Having overheard our host's request for gin (though I can highly recommend Erica Starling of the East's mulled wine) I present here in this glass ( *proffers glass* Y ) some of my finest Virtual Gin (or as I like to call it - VirGin)

We implore the Brothers Sterne to join us on our quest, or at least head us on a direction of new joys, and all manner of other literary blogging goodness...

Madame Hooch of the Heath said...

\_/
_|_ <- glass of Virtual Gin

Cheers!

Enny said...

*Toasts with virtual cruiser courtesy of Sterne's cellar*

*Steps guardingly in front of Erica Starling of the East*

*Glares in a menacingly friendly manner and awaits the story of the Sterne, an acceptance of the invitation to join and/or direction of where we shall head to next*

*Concentrates on diverting eyes AWAY from the tights*

*Sups cruiser with pointy-up pinky*

Jon said...

Never fear Ru...uh, Burgher de Hotham. You and your thiasus are welcome. I like the idea, elaborate and strange though it be, and extra comments and traffic are always appreciated. As is gin, be it virtual or no.

But if you're looking for Sterne's history and manifesto, I'm not sure I'm entirely qualified to give it you. I have trouble remembering what happened yesterday, let alone over a year ago. Nonetheless: an attempt.

Sterne was born one fateful night, when, after being shanghai'd by slavers in Bangkok, I found myself squaring off against the man I'd later come to know as Tim in a fight to the death in an ad hoc arena hidden deep within the meat-packing district - all for the entertainment of drunken sailors and their clap-riddled molls. Evenly matched, armed with nothing but our wits and cricket bats with nails in, Tim and I fought for hours, the titanic struggle ending only when the realisation dawned that we could win our freedom by turning our nerdish rage upon our captors. Liberty duly, and bloodily, won, we shared a cask of victory goon, and discovered we had many interests in common: taxidermy, semiotic theory, a schoolgirl crush on Kyle MacLachlan. It was obvious that destiny required our partnership to continue, and that the time had come to start a blog that would act as a beacon of culture, morality and aestheticism - a staunch bastion of eloquence and intellect amidst the squalid debris of the interweb and all it's inherent vapidity.

And when that failed Tim started Sterne; I joined in a few months later, greasy bandwagon-jumper that I am.

That's roughly how it happened. Tim might like to correct me on the finer points.

I don't got the knowin' of what you're looking for in your quest, but you aren't likely to find it here, unless your objective was a couple of likely lads having fun with words and mouthing off at a world they're ill-equipped to understand.

But, were I required to suggest a place to continue looking, then I'd propose you go and rub eyeballs with Messire Timothy Train - a man who types for his tea, and who is, I suspect, no stranger to the habitual use of arachaic pronouns as employed by your motley troupe.

I may even come for the ride.

Burgher Russell de Hotham Esq. said...

Jon, I can think of no better person than Timothy Train myself. We shall journey there forthwith. Do follow, your ability to talk us out of, and occasionally into, trouble will be most useful on this trip methinks.

Armagnac Esq. said...

Despite reservations about their bona fides, I have belatedly discovered the roving band of minstrels, bards and village idiots and offer my hearth, replete with decantered Jerez....