Friday, November 09, 2007

PM Denies Ordering Sandwich

Prime Minister John Howard has denied ordering a sandwich from a Sydney café yesterday afternoon.

While campaigning in the seat of Wentworth, Mr Howard was overheard telling staff at the La Dolce Veleno café that he "would like to order a sandwich". When presented with a ham and salad sandwich and a bill for $6.40, Mr Howard refused to pay, claiming that he hadn't placed an order.

"Look, I don't want to get into a debate over semantics," Mr Howard said today. "Clearly, however, there are those who for political reasons choose to interpret the phrase 'I would like to order a sandwich' as constituting an order for a sandwich. All I intended to express was that ordering a sandwich would – were I to do it, which I didn’t – be something that I would enjoy, or like, if you will. Unfortunately I left my senior citizen discount card at home yesterday and there was no way I was paying six dollars for a sandwich that Janet could make for seventy-five cents.”

Mr Howard then delivered a stinging attack on the media for “misleading the Australian people by accurately reporting my statements”.

“I’m no English teacher, and as previously stated I’d like to avoid a debate over semantics, but it does strike me that if you lot [the media] are going to report what I say as if it actually means what it sounds like it means, then this kind of trouble is inevitable. ‘I would like to order a sandwich’ could mean a lot of things. I might have been expressing a desire to place the ingredients of a sandwich in some kind of order, or to place a sandwich in order with other items on the menu, say from healthiest to least healthy. I might even have been suggesting that I would like to order – that is command – a sandwich to serve its country in the fight against terrorism. In fact, I now recall that that's precisely what I was doing. And Mr Rudd, by criticising me for doing this, is guilty of politicising the troops. By whom I mean the sandwich I was ordering. And for that he should be ashamed."


genevieve said...

So I am assuming that all sandwiches are on standby and ready for action since this order was issued?

Jeremy said...

Gold. *applauds*

The Editor said...

Episode 2: PM refuses to say sorry for the stolen sandwich.

Magic Bellybutton said...

But he deeply regrets that the sandwich was stolen

Beth said...

white bread, I assume.

Chris Fryer said...

It's Howard that should be ashamed using semantics to worm out of paying for a sandwich. He has obviously learnt this dubious talent from his old friend Donald Rumsfeld.

This incident only adds to the long chain of broken promises, vicious lies, shattered dreams, broken hearts, deported Australian citizens and budget surpluses.

Wake-up Australia and vote this ugly ugly man out of office!

Helen said...

*More applause*