Friday, February 01, 2008

Mouthing Off

I have now had tonsillitis for over three weeks. This time last week it seemed to be petering out but the last couple of days have seen a resurgence and once more it hurts to eat, drink, kiss (not that's there's much of that going on, what with me being diseased), talk, gurn, laugh, scream uncontrollably at Ten's fucking incessant advertising for So You Think You Got Pants, etc. I am also disinclined to: get out bed, go to work, read books, write, think, tell people I've still got tonsillitis lest they think I'm a hypochondriac, impersonate Captain Beefheart/Tom Waits/Howlin' Wolf, etc. It's a pitiful state of affairs and I think that unless there is significant improvement before Monday I'll be seeing my doctor to demand the removal of my malfunctioning balls of throat tissue. And he'll probably just tell me to continue taking it easy, recommend I ingest still more Panadeine (bastard won't give me any of the hard stuff), and send me on my way. I really should get a proper doctor - I swear the certificates displayed above this guy's desk are participation awards from medical school fun runs.


TimT said...

Home surgery.

You know it makes sense. Get one of the kids to rip the tonsils out of your mouth for you.

Cheap and efficient! Safe, too: only minor cases of death may occur.

jiminycricket said...

Uggh.. Tonsilitis is fucking horrible. Hold your doctor hostage until he agrees to approve their removal. I had mine removed a couple of years ago and it's the best thing I've ever done.