Friday, February 29, 2008
garfield minus garfield
Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Anyway, if you want an Oscar injustice, how about The Godfather Pt. II winning Best Picture in 1974. It's Alive wuz robbed!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
In 2007, he appeared playing keyboards in Voila, Belinda Carlisle's solo album sung entirely in French.Luckily, when it all gets a bit hard to digest, the man himself is available in antacid form:
And here he is - for real - as Father Brian Eno in Father Ted:
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Just kidding. I'd rather take a job in a Chinese coal mine that subject myself to that.
The web site claims the award is a "one-off", but seeing as they've already had the "Booker of Bookers" in 1993 it seems unlikely that this is the final super-Booker award we'll see. The bright idea with this one is that a panel of judges will select a shortlist of six novels from which the public - jebus, not them! - will select a winner. Fortunately Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard are ineligible.
Reading the longlist, should anyone care to do it, might be an expensive process. Copies of the inaugural Booker winner, P.H. Newby's Something to Answer For, are selling on abebooks for upwards of sixty bleedin' pounds! However I'm sure that the panel of experts will manage to come up with a shortlist comprising six titles that are readily available - you know, for the good of the democratic process.
Friday, February 22, 2008
What a twit. Remind you of anyone?
I didn't quite get the joke.
It's a large … appendage reference.
Oh, so it means you felt like you had (had anal sex)?
Yeah, yeah, from someone who is well endowed. Now the last time I checked, saying that a sector of the community has a larger appendage than the rest of us is a compliment. I don't know how anyone can possibly think you are racist from a comment like that?… Look, Channel Seven came to me and said, "98% of our audience will think it's hilarious. Problem is we have to launch the show so we'll have to make an apology".
So you are unrepentant?
Well you are now.
At the end of the day, I had a heap of people ring me up and saying next time you actually say that someone's got a big penis, can you please use my name.
Would you like to be black?
Yeah, I'd like the rhythm. They make great musicians.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Others in my immediate blog-circle have more extensive and more eloquent thoughts on the apology. I particularly enjoyed reading the thoughts of Alexis, Mel, &D, Laura, Beth, and Mark. To paraphrase the unfortunate Dr Nelson, I commend these posts to all Australians.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Mr Portelli says that he was confronted by the protesters upon opening his store last Monday morning.
“I open the door and a lady she push signs in my face that say ‘God Hates Fags’ and ‘God's Not Too Keen On Big Boss Candy Cigars Either’ and the other people they start chanting and yelling. I just tell them to either buy copy of Herald Sun or fuck off because I have use-by-dates to change in milk fridge.”
When questioned as to why Fags are still available at his store over a decade after the line was deleted, Mr Portelli explained that he is a “traditional milk bar owner”.
“I respect this country’s great milk bar heritage. I no wear gloves when handling mixed lollies, I no stock magazines other than hardcore porno, and, most importantly, I sell Fags. As soon as Fags were taken off the market I buy a lifetime’s supply. They are the cornerstone of my business. Today I sell a child a packet of Fags, tomorrow I sell that same child a packet of Winnie Blues. Maybe not even tomorrow - maybe same day! It is tradition.”
A Westboro spokeswoman says that aside from selling Fags, Mr Portelli engages in a range of "sinful" practices.
“We are particularly concerned about the proportion of Chicos in Mr Portelli’s pre-packed bags of mixed lollies. God hates Fags, sure, but Chicos really gross Him out."
Saturday, February 02, 2008
- Lady Chatterly's Mother - a novel in three paragraphs.
- The influence of Donald Barthelme.
- Allison Croggan reviews Sweeny Todd.
- Parrot lit.
- Presidential hopefuls and their iPods.
- Jaw-dropping interview with Martin Amis. I reiterate this offer.
- The Literary Saloon responds to some of Amis's more out-there statements.